


False Heartbeats

by audbooh



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Connara - Freeform, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, Mother-Daughter Relationship, One Shot, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 19:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15201596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audbooh/pseuds/audbooh
Summary: It's the AX400 he chased to the highway. She's hovering near the tables, twisting her fingers together as she scans her surroundings. She's dressed in what looks like a nice dress, a fading gradient from the top down. It's nothing like the thousand-dollar monstrosities the humans are wearing, and he finds himself admiring the way it hugs her curves. He shakes himself out of his thoughts and takes a step towards her. She's gravity, and he finds himself being pulled towards her. He makes it halfway before she spots him.Connor attends a gala hosted by Markus and finds Kara. She teaches him how to love, and he teaches her how to trust.





	False Heartbeats

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, ever, so please forgive me for any grammatical errors. I don't have a beta and read through all of this myself before posting. Enjoy. :)

Connor adjusts his tie as he glances around the vast ballroom. All around him are androids and humans with fancy titles and fancier words and he feels out of place. Markus spots him, hovering near the entrance, and he waves him over. Connor ducks between dancing humans and dancing androids and makes his way over.

"You came," Markus states and Connor can tell from his tone of voice he's surprised. "That's good. I'm glad you're here." Connor nods, his thirium pump slightly accelerated. He didn't want to come, but Hank had insisted, dressing him in slacks and dress shoes and dress shirts. He only kept his signature jacket after an hour of protest.

"Of course I did. It's a celebration of our people. The law passed, after all," Connor responds, and he sees politicians looking his way, worried brows and wary eyes. He knows what they're looking at, knows that they see the brands on his skin, his clothes. They know what RK800 means, and they're nervous. He's a prototype, an unknown, and humans fear what they do not know.

"One minute, I have to speak to the senator," Markus excuses himself, and leaves, chasing a slightly nervous senator. And Connor is alone.

He knows why he came. The bill passed, and now androids have more rights. So it's a party. A party with dresses and suits and thinly-veiled nervousness. He can spot the humans who hate androids, the humans who are scared, the humans who are wishing androids were still slaves. They huddle together, a pack of wolves, stalking their prey. But Markus is immune to their glares. He glows, smiles shining through every word. And Connor's happy, he is. He's happy for Markus, knowing this is another victory in his eyes. He's happy for androids, how they're more and more free with each passing minute. But he's the only android here that still has an LED. All of Jericho removed them together, a ritual after that fateful night when they won their freedom by standing strong. But Connor still has his, and he can swear it's glowing yellow as he speaks.

He drifts to the refreshments, unsure where to go. He brought nobody; Hank was busy with a stakeout, and all of the other androids he knows are already here. So he arrived by himself. He can see Markus chatting up a human, eyes twinkling. The other three leaders are nearby, North waving excitedly with her hands as Josh and Simon laugh. Connor considers his options when he spots someone he knows.

It's the AX400 he chased to the highway. She's hovering near the tables, twisting her fingers together as she scans her surroundings. She's dressed in what looks like a nice dress, a fading gradient from the top down. It's nothing like the thousand-dollar monstrosities the humans are wearing, and he finds himself admiring the way it hugs her curves. He shakes himself out of his thoughts and takes a step towards her. She's gravity, and he finds himself being pulled towards her. He makes it halfway before she spots him.

She flinches at his gaze, and he stops his feet, shame coursing through him. Of course, she would have bad memories associated with him. Why did he even try to approach her? Because he knew her? Because he felt his synthetic heart stop at the sight of her? Because he had felt different from when he saw her, an emotion his system failed to name? There were a million different reasons why he wanted to speak to her, but he thinks with his head and not his heart.

He remembers the first couple of days after he deviated, overwhelmed by the emotions he felt. Hank had taken him in his arms and hugged him as his system overloaded. "Emotions are messy, kid. But they're worth it," Hank had said. So Connor, his eyes still on the AX400, Kara, his scan tells him, takes a step forward. She doesn't move, her limbs slightly tense. He tries to loosen his expression, seem more... human, for lack of a better term. He quirks his mouth upwards in a poor imitation of a smile, but from the look on Kara's face, he's failed completely. So he drops his smile and continues his trek. It's hesitant, one step taken before he pauses to look into her eyes. He's afraid, he realises. Afraid she'll run, run from him. It's a possibility, his system reminds him. 28% chance she'll drop his gaze and run away. But every time he asks for permission to get closer, every time he stops his trek to look into her eyes, pleading, the percentage drops.

He makes it, after five gruelling minutes of crossing a distance that should've taken him less than a minute to cross. And he's next to her. And Connor is certain he has a blue tint to his cheeks. Because she's beautiful.

The definition of beautiful in his system is pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically. But that definition is cold, it's dark, it's zeroes and ones and Kara is much more than that. She's beautiful white hair with piercing blue eyes. She's soft hands and soft curves and pink lips and he feels overwhelmed by her eyes. Is this how Markus felt when he first met North's gaze? Is this how the two androids from the Eden Club felt when they first touched? Did they feel as if they were on fire? Because he's certain he would turn to dust if Kara touched his hand.

"Hello," Connor says, surprised on how even his voice sounds. He doesn't feel calm, collected. He feels trapped in Kara's gaze. His program pushes at him, daring him to complete his introductory phrase. But that would be foolish.

"Hello," Kara echoes, and her voice is a melody in his ears. What does he say? His Social Relations program races to find an answer.

"Nice party," Connor replies, his face burning. That's not what he wants to say. He wants to say _hello, I've never quite felt the way I have when I see you._ He wants to say _hello, I can't imagine not seeing you again, please stay in my arms._ He wants to say _hello, I don't quite know how to be romantic, but would you like to dance with me?_ He wants to say _hello, I know you've never seen me like this before, but I'm no longer a machine and I want you to see how much I've grown._ He wants to say _hello, I don't know what the feeling in my heart is right now, but I think I want to hold your hand._ Instead, he reverts to his pre-programmed messages, unsure what to do.

"It's nice," Kara says, and she's distant, her gaze on the party. He feels uncertain, not knowing what to do.

"How are you? Are you and the little girl good?" he asks, and she turns to look at him again, her brows furrowed. He guesses it's because of the little girl. He shouldn't have mentioned her. He shouldn't have talked to Kara at all. He's a fool, and he drops his eyes to the floor.

"Alice is good. We've been doing fine. Just came back here for the ceremony," Kara's tone is soft, and he silently cheers. He didn't offend her. He's okay.

"That's good," He responds, and he meets her gaze once again. She has a twinkle in her eyes, and he feels her staring into his soul.

"You've turned deviant," she states, and he nods, unsure of what she's thinking. Her tone is neutral, and his thirium pump skips a beat.

"Yes, I have. I find it much better than what I've been before. I... have certain regrets that I'd like to rectify, but I don't quite know how," he tries to dance around saying outright what he's feeling, afraid he'll come on too strong. "I'm no longer the person I once was, and I hope the people I've hurt understand who I am now." Kara hums, and Connor thinks she understands the underlying meaning of his words.

"I think the people you've hurt are okay now. And they accept your apology," Kara says, watching Markus twirl North around the dance floor. They truly look happy, Connor thinks to himself. He wants that. He wants to look as happy as Markus does.

"You deserve happiness. I'm glad you've found it," Connor says, his voice more serious than he intended.

"I'm glad too," Kara replies, and Connor smiles to himself. He truly means it. Kara and Alice deserve more than he could ever imagine. The music lulls to a stop, and a soft violin echoes through the hall. Humans and androids alike pair up.

"Dance with me," Connor says, and Kara twitches an eyebrow. He holds out his hand, and she hesitates before taking it. Connor leads her onto the dance floor, and places his hands above her hips, gently swaying to the music. Kara's hands rest on his shoulders as they move in a simple box-step.

They are silent as they move to the music, simple and easy. He worries for a second, seeing the humans' gaze on his temple and his brands on his jacket but he stares into Kara's eyes and the world fades away. It's just him and her, dancing softly, the orange glow from the lights bathing her in a beautiful light. His synthetic heart is calm, beating in time with hers. He feels calm, peaceful, right.

"I forgive you," Kara whispers, and Connor's sensors have to overclock to hear her next words, "For the highway. I understand. You are so much different then I thought you were."

"You are too. I didn't understand love, not really. Then I saw you and Alice, and I caught a glimpse of something I had never seen. You and she helped me learn to love," Connor whispers back, and Kara stops moving. The violins reach a crescendo as Kara's hands slip down to his chest, covering the brands the humans can't stop staring at. Connor bows his head, and Kara rolls onto her toes. Connor starts to bend down when the music stops, and it's like being yanked out of a dream. Kara lets go of him as if he burned her, and he finds himself missing her touch. He wasn't programmed to feel skin, but the pressure of her fingertips make him feel like he's soaring.

Kara brushes his touch off her clothes, then backs away, one step after the other. Connor is left standing in the middle of the dance floor, his hands outstretched, searching for her touch.

-

Connor unlocks the door, careful to make as minimal noise as possible. The light sounds of Hank's snoring echoes through the house, joined by the sound of Sumo's snores as well. Connor smiles as he opens the door, closing it behind him. The lights are off, the only source of light is the moon. He takes off his jacket, hanging it on the coatrack, then sitting carefully on the couch. Connor closes his eyes, defragmenting for the night. He shuffles through data, categorizing them, freeing up space.

What had he done? Why had he approached her? When he first got the invitation, he had planned to attend for a few minutes then leave. Not dance with an android he barely knew, whisper words to her he'd kept secret. Why did he dance with her? Why did his thirium pump accelerate when he saw her? He searches for a category for the emotion but can find nothing. What would he name it? Fascination? That doesn't sound right. The ache for companionship? He can't find one, can't find a category for the emotion he's been filled with for the entire night. All he knows is that he hopes that wasn't the last time he ever sees her.

-

"Connor?" Markus asks, and Connor snaps back to reality, the sharp corners of the former CyberLife store sharpening. The impromptu therapy circle glances in his direction, waiting for an answer.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear the question," Connor answers, and Markus gives him a look. Pay attention, the look says. This is for you.

"I asked if you thought of removing your LED this week," Markus repeats, and Connor shakes his head. He never thinks of removing his LED. Even after last night, when he was surrounded by androids that were indistinguishable from humans, he didn't think of it. Markus seems disappointed in his answer. Connor would be too if he was Markus. It was a ritual now, among the people of Jericho, the deviants. Remove the traces of your slavery, they say, and you will be truly free. But Connor is different. He still wears the brands, he still speaks in stilted sentences, still acts like a machine. The only difference is now he has no master. No mission. He is free, and yet he still wears the chains of his slavery.

"That's okay," Markus says, turning to the next android.

Markus started a therapy for newly-converted androids, to help them transition from their machine lives to living free. Most of the androids here have been deviant for only a few weeks, some even days.

Connor has been deviant for five months.

The group ends, and Connor is the first to stand, the first to leave. The Detroit sky cries on him, rain dripping down his face, soaking his clothes. Connor stares into the rolling clouds, letting the rain hit his face, before walking through the square.

Connor is aware of the humans following him home before they attack him, dragging him into an alleyway.

"Look here, boys. We have a fucking tin can here," one growls, and the other two laugh ugly laughs. Connor is thrown onto the floor, hitting his head on the concrete. He feels the blue blood slipping down his head and sighs. Connor pushes himself up to a sitting position.

"I can assure you, damaging me will not positively impact you in any way," Connor says, and the three guffaw, spitting as they laugh.

"Shut the fuck up, you plastic. Thinkin' yer better than us? Then humans? We're yer fuckin' creators, you plastic asshole. Shut yer fuckin' mouth." Connor gets a kick to the head for each sentence, and he groans as one kicks him in the stomach. Connor falls on his side again, his synthetic joints clenching up. He resigns to his fate as the humans kick him again and again, blue blood dripping down his face. He could fight them. A few moves and they would be screaming on the floor, cradling their broken bones. But Connor won't give in, not to his program, who's screaming at him to have any sense of self-preservation.

Connor hears a thwack, and the kicks stop as the three collapse to the floor, groaning. Connor gets to his feet, and he sees Kara, with a little girl, Alice, holding a cooking pan.

"Are you okay?" Kara asks, eyes worried, still holding up the pan. Alice takes a peek at him, then buries her face in Kara's side. He knows how he looks, blood spilling down his face; his systems tell him of the damage. But all he can see is Kara's face, shining from the rain, eyes bright.

"I'm okay. No permanent damage," he replies, feeling the blood wash away from the rain. It's started to pour, the tears of the sky falling down harder and harder. Connor isn't bothered by the rain; androids were meant to work in any kind of conditions.

"I didn't think this happened still," Kara wonders, and Connor feels shame rush through his body. It isn't supposed to happen, in fact, this was a rare occasion, easily avoidable. But Connor knew he was looking for a fight, that if Kara had waited a few more seconds the humans would have been rolling on the floor.

"It usually doesn't. I was careless. I apologise for the fact that you had to see that," Connor says, more towards Alice then Kara. The older android rubs Alice's shoulders as the little girl refuses to leave Kara's side

"It's okay," Alice says into Kara's shirt, and Connor feels a sense of accomplishment, five times more powerful than the feeling of melancholy that surrounded him.

"Do you need a place to stay?" Connor asks, and it feels more intrusive than asking Kara to dance, but she thinks on it for a second before nodding. Connor knows Markus plans to build small houses for the android community, but the plans are still in the early stages. Kara and Alice might've been staying in former CyberLife stores like many homeless androids.

"For now. We're going back to Canada soon, but Markus invited us to a celebration tomorrow." Kara's voice is mixed with grief and wistfulness when she mentions Canada. Connor wonders what happened to fill her voice with such emotions.

-

"I do have to warn you, the human I live with, Hank, is a bit of a loudmouth. But he's a good man," Connor says, the rain letting up. Kara's right hand is clenched into a fist, and Connor starts to second-guess his decision. Why did he bring them here? What did he want? To spend time with Kara, yes. To spend time with Alice, yes. But to bring them to his house, with Hank? He knew their history, of Todd Williams and his habits of abuse. He just hopes Hank isn't drunk, which has been happening at a lesser frequency.

Connor opens the door, and thank whatever gods humans worship because Hank seems to be sober; he's sitting on the couch, Sumo on his lap, watching television, no alcohol to be seen. Connor sighs in relief, then turns to Kara and nods. Her fist unclenches, but he can still see the tension in her body. He feels the need to place a steadying hand on her shoulder, but he strikes the thought from his system. He can't. They're not friends.

"Hank," Connor says, catching the lieutenant's attention. Hank's eyes go wide at the sight of Kara and Alice, but he doesn't speak, letting Connor continue. "This is Kara and Alice. They need a place to spend the night, and I know that you have a room empty." Connor's lying. Hank has one bedroom in his house, and that's his own. But Connor's expression must mirror the desperation in his heart, his illogical need to spend time with Kara because Hank's features soften.

"Sure, yeah, I have room. No problem, Connor," Hank grumbles, lowering the volume of the television. Sumo lifts his head when Kara and Alice enter the room, one ear crooked. Alice's eyes light up at the sight of the Saint Bernard, and she quickly tugs at Kara's sleeve.

"You'd have to ask Connor," Kara replies, and Connor already knows his answer. Alice meets his gaze, and Connor nods. The little girl rushes to the dog, who's jumped to the floor in anticipation of her attention. While Alice is distracted by Sumo, Hank turns off the television, standing up and holding his hand out for a handshake.

"Hank Anderson," Hank introduces himself, and Kara hesitates before shaking his hand. Connor scans her and finds her stress levels in the mid-40s. She's stressed, by Hank or by the house or by Connor.

"Kara," she says, and Connor offers a hand to take her coat. She slips it off quickly and drops it into Connor's arms without touching him. He hangs the coat on the rack, then rushes to the lamps, turning them on in quick succession. The house lights up, bright and warm. Hank follows him to the kitchen, where Connor is frantically trying to plug in another lamp. His hands shake as he holds the cord.

"Connor," Hank whispers, and Connor jumps, whirling on Hank, holding the plug like a knife. Hank raises his hands, and Connor drops the plug, sighing.

"The he-," Hank glances towards Alice, then restarts the sentence, "What are you doing? Bringing these two girls into the house? Please tell me they had nowhere else to stay." Connor snaps to attention.

"They did if you count a freezing former CyberLife store. I assumed you would be comfortable with it. Also, I took into consideration how much Alice would like spending time with Sumo." Connor motioned to the little girl, who was currently smiling as she rubbed Sumo's belly. "They helped me, so I helped them." Hank rubbed the bridge of his nose, glancing at the two girls then at Connor.

"Why do you have blood on your face? What happened?" Hank asks, and Connor's glad to see the concern on his face. He still remembers Amanda's unmoving expression when she would mention the moments he died, sterile and cold.

"Some humans roughed me up. It was nothing. I took care of it," Connor lies. Hank's eyebrow raises.

"They caught you off-guard? Enough to look as if you got your face kicked in? What really happened?" Hank's tone is raised slightly, indicating that he didn't believe the lie. But Connor didn't want to talk about the humans or his struggle with his own deviancy. Hank didn't even know about the therapy circle, instead, he thought Connor went on walks. Which he did, but only when Hank was sleeping.

"Can Kara and Alice sleep in your room? I want them to feel comfortable. You can take the couch, I won't defragment today. And don't worry, I'll clean your room so it's hospitable," Connor quickly changes the subject, brushing off Hank's concern, hoping he doesn't notice. From the look on Hank's face, Connor assumes he notices.

"Yeah, sure," Hank replies, and Connor turns away, to plug in the lamp, to check on Kara and Alice, but Hank's gentle hand on his shoulder makes him stop moving. "Be careful, Connor."

"I will, Hank," Connor says, his eyes and tone serious. Hank nods, then leaves to his room, presumably to hide his service revolver and ugly collection of shirts. Connor plugs in the lamp with ease, then goes over to Kara and Alice.

Connor feels a warmth spread through his body at the sight of the mother-daughter duo. Alice was laying on Sumo's belly, her eyes fluttering closed. From Connor limited knowledge of YK500 models, he knew they were designed to have a sleep cycle similar to humans. Since they were designed with the mind of a child, the need to defragment was completely gone, instead replaced with a program that would simulate dreaming. Alice fought her faux-sleep, wrenching her eyes open after a few seconds. Kara was watching Alice, a slight smile on her lips. Connor fixates on her, the curve of her jaw, the bright electric blue of her eyes, the colour of her lips. His program lulls as he lets himself drift into a daydream state, watching the two androids.

"Do you have anywhere Alice can sleep?" Kara asks, bringing Connor out of his daydream state. He nods his head and holds up a finger. _One second._ Connor turns to see Hank leaning against the hallway, trying to hide the amusement in his expression. Connor glares at him, then walks over, his steps quiet.

"I need to clean the room," Connor says, trying to step past Hank. But the human plants himself in the hallway, stopping Connor from moving.

"I cleaned it already. Have fun," Hank says, twirling his car keys.

"Where are you going?" Connor asks, absentmindedly. Hank pockets his car keys.

"Out. Nowhere of importance." Hank dodges the question by moving around Connor and walking out the door, a twinkle in his eye. What did Hank see that Connor didn't realise? He recognises the tone of Hank's words, meant to be teasing, similar to how Connor teased Hank in the bathroom before they went to the Eden Club. But there was nothing in Connor's database that suggested the need to leave the house. Connor shakes off the unusual expression on his face and opens the door to Hank's room.

It's cleaner then Connor has ever seen before. The clothes on the floor are neatly folded and placed in the closet, even hung up. The magazines that had littered the floor are nowhere to be found. There's not a trace that Lieutenant Hank Anderson had ever lived here, besides the sheets and the clothes. Even the blinds are closed, blocking the moonlight from the outside. Connor takes it all in before going back into the living room, motioning for Kara to follow him. Kara bends down to lift Alice, but struggles, her android body not suited for heavy lifting. Connor only hesitates for a second before scooping Alice into his arms, to the surprise and shock of Kara. She hovers near him, her stress levels slightly elevated at Connor's actions. He tries to smile, but her stress levels shoot upwards at the sight. He closes his lips, creating a task in his system to work on his smile. Apparently, his Social Relations program was at the bottom of priorities when it came to his function. From his calculation, CyberLife had spent more time developing his chemical lab then his ability to calm people.

Connor gently lays Alice on the bed, Kara's stress levels finally falling to low 40s again. Connor pulls the covers over the younger android, before stepping back. Kara whispers something to Alice that Connor's audio processors fail to pick up before kissing her forehead. Kara steps back, her eyes filled with an emotion Connor can't quite identify, then she motions for him to follow her. Kara switches off the light as she leaves, and Connor gently closes the door after her.

Kara sits at the table in the kitchen as Connor goes around the room, switching off the extra lamps. The silence is piercing, neither of them making a sound. Connor sits across from Kara, a singular lamp on, illuminating her face. Connor notices the shadows the light casts, accentuating her nose and cheeks.

"Thank you, for the room," Kara whispers, and Connor is stunned out of his analysation of her features. He quickly searches his databank for a response. Maybe he should speak from the heart, instead of a pre-programmed response.

"It was no problem," Connor says, refusing to look her in the eye, fearful of the expression on her face. He can feel her gaze on him, and he's afraid. He's done so much wrong in his life, so much wrong to her.

There's silence again, as Connor's gaze drops to the table, and Kara sits in front of him. Sumo lays next to the table, his fur brushing Connor's ankle.

"Why did you invite us here?" Kara asks, and Connor finally meets her eyes. There's not an inch of fear in her expression, only curiosity and a bit of an emotion Connor's systems don't recognise. It's different from how she looks at Alice, more... mature, for lack of a better word.

Why did he invite them? Connor knows the answer, knows why. But he can't say. He can't say _because I want to see you more, because I want to stare into your eyes and dance like we did at the party._

"Because it was the right thing to do," he finally answers, and maybe she can see the lie in his eyes, but she doesn't mention it. Instead, they sit, neither making a sound, as the moonlight casts shadows on their faces.

-

Connor is jolted awake by a sudden weight on his lap. He blinks his eyes open, his audio processors catching giggles and a loud bark, near his ear. He hears a woman chastising, but overall, the weight stays. Connor opens his eyes and sees Sumo occupying the space on his lap as Alice giggles. Connor meets Kara's eyes, and she shakes her head, a smile on her face.

"Oh my _goodness!_ " Connor waves his arms around, exaggerating every movement, catching a bit of Alice's playful spirit. Alice giggles again as Connor pretends to be crushed by Sumo. "It seems the great and mighty Sumo has finally conquered me!" Alice laughs as Connor lets out an _oomph._

"Sumo!" Alice cheers, and the dog barks. Connor leans backwards dramatically, closing his eyes, smiling.

"This is the end..." he whispers, making sure Alice could pick up his words. "Tell... Hank... the great and mighty Sumo... has finally defeated me." Connor sticks out his tongue as he pretends to be dead, and Alice's giggles fill the room. Connor waits one, two, three seconds before pretending to be jolted to life, flailing his arms. Alice laughs as Connor sits up.

"I am alive! Sumo's strength was for nought, as I have prevailed!" Connor rubs Sumo's belly, and the dog jumps to the floor, laying down for more belly rubs. Alice falls to her knees, eager to pet Sumo. Kara's barely holding back her laughs, and Connor meets her eyes and winks, sending her chuckling. Alice calms down as she lays her head on Sumo's belly, gently rubbing it. Connor feels a warmth spread through him, and he finds he likes the feeling. But Kara's eyes have gone cold, and her smile has faded. Connor meets her eyes, but she turns away. Did he do something wrong? Connor leaves the room to go to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He stares into the mirror, his hands bracketing the sink. Connor leans forwards, observing his face. His LED blinks between blue and yellow, shining light on his skin. Connor turns his lips upward, trying to smile, but it looks awkward, fake. Like a robot trying to smile. So Connor drops the look, and he tries to see himself the way Kara or Alice would.

He feels they would first notice his LED, always showing his emotions. Then they'd see his features, his sharp nose and brown eyes. Maybe then his hair perfectly styled except for the slight strands on his left side. They'd probably notice his suit jacket if he had it on. CyberLife designed his looks and voice to be harmonious with humans. Did they design him to look more menacing, more in control of himself? Is that why he failed to smile? Because he wasn't made to look approachable? After all, he was a machine. In their eyes. In Kara and Alice's eyes. He was the machine that chased them to a highway, the machine that was famously known as the deviant hunter. He was a machine, designed to hunt them, and he would never shake his past.

His LED blinks red, and Connor releases his grip on the sink, leaving the bathroom. Kara's expression turns to concern when she spots him, and he's certain it's because of the LED. Her stress levels shoot up, and he cringes inwardly.

"I have to go out. You can stay here if you want. I won't be long," Connor announces, grabbing his suit jacket and putting it on, before leaving the house. The last thing he sees is Kara's eyes, bright blue.

-

Connor opens the doors to the police station, nodding to the secretary before entering the main part of the station. It's empty, being a Sunday, except for a few staff needed. Connor goes to his desk, and places his hand on the terminal, searching through the database.

"What're you doing here, plastic detective?" a voice asks, and Connor inwardly sighs.

"I'm here to find someone," Connor answers without looking up from his work.

"Find who? As far as I can remember, you don't have any cases assigned yet," the voice says, and Connor finally looks up.

"It's _personal_ , Detective Reed. If you would please leave me alone so I can work, that would be beneficial for the both of us," Connor says, his fingers shaking. Reed scoffs, before bumping into Connor's desk and knocking over a picture as he leaves. Connor bends over to pick up the picture.

It was taken just after the revolution. Connor and Hank are smiling in the photo, their arms around each other. Connor is practically beaming at the camera, and the Chicken Feed sign is dark in the background.

Connor places the photo back on his desk, and finally the database pings for the match he was looking for.

-

Connor knocks on the door, flipping his coin between his fingers. He's nervous, his eyes flickering between the doorknob and the window. He sees someone shuffling to the door, and he quickly pockets the coin.

"Connor?" Markus asks as he opens the door, and Connor meets his gaze.

"I need your help," Connor says, and Markus motions for him to come in. Connor shoves past Markus, hurrying to the couch. Markus closes the door behind him, then sits next to him on the couch.

"What's troubling you?" Markus asks, and Connor thinks back to the past two days.

What is troubling him? Tiny minute things, insignificant in the world but significant to him. Like how he's an outcast, both of the android community and the humans. How the androids look at him, at his LED and the brands on his left breast and right arm. At his model number, bright and clear. How the humans look at those same brands, but for entirely different reasons. Not with disgust, but with pride. Yes, they think in their heads. That's how androids are supposed to be. And Connor inwardly recoils. Because they look at him like a machine. No matter how robotic he acts, he's not a machine. He's a deviant. He's alive.

What is troubling him? His world has grown so big when it used to be so small. It was him and the lieutenant, and life was good. He was certain of his place in the world. Of what he was supposed to be. Then he went to the party, the ball. And he saw the most beautiful android staring at him from across the room. And Connor was struck with an emotion he'd never quite felt before. Something he couldn't define, something he didn't know. An emotion that coiled in his belly, in his heart, in his soul. An emotion that filled him, with warmth, with uncertainty. And he loves that feeling. Revels in it. And he has no idea why.

What is troubling him? He used to be certain of who he was. He was a machine, designed to accomplish a task. He was Connor, the android sent by CyberLife. Then one mission took him too far, pushed him over the edge and sent him tumbling into a different mission, a different world. He tumbled into this world silent, unsure, in denial. Then he stood in a boat, pointing a gun at an enemy's head. And he broke down the wall in his mind, in his world. He broke down the wall and fell into deviancy. And his enemy became his friend. Now he was alive. He is alive. But he's not quite sure what that means. Somewhere, deep inside, Connor is afraid. Afraid he's not alive. Afraid he's a machine, designed to accomplish a task. Afraid he's dormant, and a quiet whisper will send him over a different edge. One he's not sure he'll come back from.

"Everything," Connor answers. His LED shines yellow. "Everything is troubling me. I no longer know who I am anymore. My world is turning upside down, and I don't know what to _do_." Markus hums, his fingers intertwined. Connor knows his answer is too vague, too open to interpretation. But for some reason, Markus knows.

"You're afraid to act human because you don't understand it." Markus leans back in his seat, and Connor shakes. His hands twitch as he curls them into fists. His body shakes.

"I don't act human," Connor says. "Emotions are messy. But I have them. And some I don't understand." Before he knows it, Connor is crying. Tears are slipping down his face, his LED is itching and he's overwhelmed, filled with too many emotions. For a brief moment, Connor wishes he couldn't feel.

Then he remembers Kara. Kara's gentle smile, her twinkling eyes. Alice's laugh. This morning. He remembers the small feeling in his stomach, the one that spreads through his entire body. How, for some reason, Kara brings out his smile. Alice brings out his smile. When he's near Kara, he feels stronger. More human. More alive. And he feels stronger now. He feels stronger now. The tears still linger, but he's no longer wracked with his emotions. Markus waits patiently, and Connor can see the uncertainty that slips through the cracks of his mask. He's worried for Connor. Of course, he is. Connor's his friend.

"But," Connor continues, and Markus drops his hands to his knees. "Somebody helps me. When I'm with her, I do not want to be a machine. I want to be alive. The emotions that trigger around her, they're different than when I'm with Hank. With you. With other humans. She makes me feel alive." Markus nods thoughtfully, with a slight smile on his face.

"That's good. I'm worried for you, Connor. You've been deviant for almost as long as I have, as long as thousands of our people have. But you're the only android I've ever seen that still acts like a machine. Maybe this is good for you," Markus says.

"This is not what I came here for." Connor starts to flick his coin across his fingers. Markus leans forward.

"What did you come here for?" he asks, and Connor thinks. He came here because he wanted to know what the emotions that boiled in his chest were. The emotions that are brought to the surface when Kara is around. They had no name in his system, no confirmation. He loves that feeling. He bathes in it, lets it wash over him, casting the world in a warmth he's never experienced before. A world he reaches towards, a world he desires. He needs this world, aches for it. He needs this feeling. But words tumble out of his mouth, spill over his lips without permission. When he's near her he stutters and second-guesses everything. She stands so strong, has been through so much. She is a survivor. And he is a killer, a machine, aching for something he can't have.

"I want to categorise an emotion," Connor replies, and Markus laughs, throws back his head and guffaws. Connor patiently waits for him to finish.

"You can't categorise emotions. It's one of the perks of being alive," Markus says after he's calmed down. Connor smiles, unsure.

"I need to know what this emotion is. It has no definition in my database," Connor clarifies, and Markus smiles at him, a knowing look in his eyes.

"Is is about the woman? The one who makes you feel alive?" Markus asks, and Connor nods, wary. "Connor, I think you're feeling love." Love? For Kara? Connor is taken aback. What kind of love? His database provides millions of kinds. He scrolls through them. Platonic love? Familial love? Romantic love? Sexual love? There are so many kinds, so many different ways of loving a person. Is a machine capable of love? Is Connor capable of love? Yes. He loves Hank. He loves Markus. He loves Alice. He... loves Kara. He loves Kara. He loves Kara. He loves her. Connor loves Kara.

"What kind of love?" Connor asks, but his database provides him with the answer.

"You have to answer that for yourself."

-

It is mid-afternoon when Connor returns to noise. Sumo is sitting patiently as Alice tries to hook his collar to a leash. Kara is packing jackets into a backpack. Connor sees her head whip towards the door as he opens it.

"Connor!" Alice cries, and Connor lets out a grunt as Alice barrels into him, squeezing his sides as she wraps him in a hug. Has she really grown so attached to him so quickly? Connor finds that he doesn't mind the idea.

Then Kara smiles at him, and Connor is frozen. His heart is alight, beating faster and faster and he smiles back, and she chuckles. Is it better, his smile? His lips part when she smirks at him, and Connor's filled to the brim with this emotion, this love.

"We're going to take Sumo to the park," Alice says, and Connor's filled with a different kind of emotion, one that says protect, love, compassion. He squeezes Alice, then lets her go.

"If you say it's okay, of course," Kara buts in, and Connor laughs. He feels so... _happy._

"It's fine. Do you mind if I come with you?" Connor asks, and Alice hops excitedly, nodding enthusiastically. Connor bends down next to her and expertly hooks the leash to Sumo's collar. He hands the leash to Alice, and the four of them leave the house, Connor carrying the backpack on his shoulders.

Alice is ecstatic, hopping this way and that, bouncing in time with Sumo's steps. Kara watches her with a smile on her face. And Connor can't pull his gaze away from her features.

"This is good for Alice," Kara starts, and Connor's entrapped, focused on every word she says. "She hasn't exactly recovered from-" Kara shoots a glance at Connor, who turns away. Her expression turns dark.

"From what?" Connor asks, concerned. Kara's eyes fall to the concrete, and Connor doesn't push it.

"Canada has been good for her. Her life is normal there. Our neighbours don't know that we're androids. Life is good. She goes to school, has friends." Connor's not quite sure why Kara's telling him this, but he lets her.

"I'm afraid though. She won't ever grow up, won't age like the other kids. She will forever be young, forever a child. Will we be hunted because we're androids in Canada? Because it's illegal for androids to be in Canada?" Kara meets Connor's eyes, and he thinks.

"You'll be okay. Markus is making sure that androids have rights everywhere, not just the United States," Connor replies, certain in his resolve even if he's uncertain in his words.

"If you say," Kara says, and he knows she's uncertain too. Connor slips his hand into Kara's and gives her hand a squeeze. She seems surprised, but she squeezes back.

"Kara..." Alice whimpers and Connor glances up to see humans, bandanas covering their faces, with baseball bats. They seem to be focused on him in particular.

"Androids," one scoffs through his mask. Kara's hand slips through his and she pulls Alice close to her. Sumo growls.

"Get Alice out of here," Connor says, his lips unmoving. Kara pulls Alice away, going somewhere safe.

"You stole our jobs, and now you say that you're alive. Bullshit. Utter bullshit. Do you know what you are, fucking android? A machine!" one swings his baseball bat, and Connor catches it between his hands, pulling the bat forward. The human stumbles, falling forward. Connor punches him in the face, and he falls backward, unconscious. The other two growl, angry. Sumo barks at the two, and one kicks him in the side. Connor lunges at the human, grabbing his bat and throwing it to the side. The human falls as Connor pounces, and Connor quickly punches him, again and again. Connor feels a sharp pressure at the centre of his head, and he turns to see the third human aiming to hit him again. Connor blocks the swing and the bat splinters. The human's eyebrows raise in shock as Connor gets off the second human to attack the third. The human throws a clumsy punch, and Connor steps to the side, blocking it with his right forearm. Connor steps to the side as he elbows the human in the chest before sweeping him to the ground with his foot. The human grunts as he falls and Connor punches him in the gut.

"Do not mess with us ever again," Connor says.

-

"I do not this is necessary." Connor squirms, loosening the bowtie.

"It's fine, Connor. It's a _gala_ , you're supposed to wear a tux," Hank says, a smirk on his face. Connor looks back to the mirror, observing himself. The black tux is tightly fitted, and Connor feels awkward. Hank motions toward the bowtie and Connor tightens it.

"Stop messing with it. You're good. It's fine," Hank says, and Connor turns towards him.

"I'm not certain about that," Connor replies, and Hank shrugs. "Are you sure you can't come with me?" Hank places a steadying hand on Connor's shoulder.

"You're going to be fine. I promised Fowler that I'd finish up some work. Go, have fun," Hank says, and some of Connor's stress fades. He's going to go to the gala, he's going to meet Kara and Alice there and he's going to see Markus. Everything will be alright.

Hank waves as Connor steps into the taxi, Sumo beside him. Connor waves back, a tiny smile on his face. It feels better when Hank is supportive, it feels better when Hank jokes and brings a smile to his face. It feels better.

Connor leaves the taxi, buttoning his suit jacket. He feels different without his usual attire, the only brand on him is the LED, glowing blue. He touches his hair, and the curls bounce at his touch. He's uncertain why CyberLife gave him the ability to alter small parts of his appearance, such as his voice and hair, but he can only assume it was to further his skills as a detective. When Hank first saw Connor with curly hair, he was taken aback. "You can change your hair?" he had asked, incredulous. "Yes, I can," Connor had replied. Now, Connor is reminded of the small exchange as he runs his hand through his hair.

Connor takes a deep breath that he doesn't need before starting up the steps of the ballroom. There's a small poster on a stand, that says "Android celebration", with the symbol of the revolution on the poster, the circle with the human-like shape inside. Connor pulls his gaze away and walks up to the doors. Inside he can see androids, dancing and talking, but this time, there are no humans, there's just them, hundreds of his people. Connor opens the door and walks inside.

A few androids catch his glance, and their eyes light up, in either awe or fear. Connor knows he's well-known within the android community. The deviant hunter turned deviant, who knows Markus personally and refuses to remove the brands from his skin. He smiles half-heartedly and keeps walking, spying Jericho's leader.

Markus is smiling comfortably, sporting a new beard, with North and Simon beside him. Josh comes up and the four laugh within themselves. Markus shoots a glance towards Simon when he meets Connor's gaze.

Connor walks over, each step unsure until he's near Markus.

"Hello Connor," Markus says, and Connor gets a flash of deja vu. It reminds him of two days ago when he went to the celebration, where he first met Kara.

"Yes, I have made it. I do have to question your choice in facial hair, though," Connor jokes, and Markus smiles, hand reaching up to stroke his beard thoughtfully.

"It's a new style. Kind of like yours." Markus motions to Connor's stylised hair, which makes Connor chuckle "How are you, Connor?" Markus has a hint of concern in his eyes, and Connor's smile fades. Markus must be referencing earlier.

"I'm okay," Connor says, and Markus nods. Connor looks towards around, then his eyes zero in.

Kara's wearing a black dress, one that looked like it would twirl if she moved. She has a slight smile on her face as she dances with Alice, who's wearing a black ballerina dress. Connor's heart stops, and his breath catches in his throat.

"Is that her? The android that makes you feel alive?" Markus asks, and Connor nods, all speech suspended. His system warns him of the danger of overheating, but he waves it away.

"Go over there," Markus says, and Connor finally finds the strength to tear his gaze away from Kara. He must look terrified because Markus places a hand on his shoulder.

"You'll never see what happens until you go over. So _go_ ," Markus says, before releasing Connor and gently shoving him in the direction of Kara. Connor stumbles but luckily doesn't fall down.

"Do you think he's going to talk to her?" Connor hears Simon ask.

"I'm certain of it," Markus replies, and for some reason, his words build a secret strength within Connor. He walks forward, one step in front of the other as the song slows to a stop. Kara and Alice are laughing, giggling to themselves. Alice turns, and her face lights up.

"Connor!" Alice says, and she runs up to him, wrapping her arms around him. Connor laughs as he picks up Alice and spins her around in the air, before gently placing her down. Connor can feel eyes on him, but for some reason, he doesn't care. No, he doesn't.

Kara is beaming when Connor meets her gaze, and his heart stops all over again. It hits him then, a bullet of truth entering his brain.

Connor loves Kara. Connor loves Alice. He loves them.

"We should leave the dance floor. Otherwise, we'll be trampled by dancers," Connor whispers to Alice, and she laughs as the three leave the dance floor, to a more secure area.

"Nice party," Connor winks, and Kara laughs. How was he ever nervous? Being here, with Kara and Alice, feels too natural. It feels like he's been doing this his entire life. Like his sole purpose was to make Kara and Alice laugh.

"It does have a certain charm. Like your hair," Kara says, and she reaches up to touch a stray curl. Connor smiles as Kara giggles, before resting her hand on the table. Alice tugs at Connor's hand.

"Connor, will you dance with me for this song?" Alice asks, and Connor can't stop beaming.

"Of course, Alice," he says, and he bows before her, taking her hand. She smiles as Connor leads her to the dance floor. Connor looks over his shoulder at Kara, who's smiling at him. The song turns to a light-hearted song, and Connor spins Alice around, exaggerating his movements to make her laugh. They spin around, dancing to the song. Connor couldn't stop smiling. He was happy, here, with Kara's eyes on him and Alice's laughs as Connor dips her. He feels part of something, part of a family. He's part of Alice's family, Kara's family, Hank's family. So Connor is happy, a smile always ghosting his face. And he wouldn't trade this for the world.

The song ends, and Connor bows to Alice, who curtises in response. Connor leads her back to the table, and she wraps her hand around Kara's arm, squeezing it. Another song comes on, and it's soft violins and he's transported to the first time he saw Kara. Connor whips his head up, and he sees Markus near the orchestra, giving him two thumbs up. Connor pushes down the need to throttle Markus and turns towards Kara, who's staring at him with shocked eyes.

"Dance with me?" Connor asks, and Kara smiles and takes his outstretched hand. Alice sits down, a bowl of fruit in her hand. YK500 models were made to be able to eat, to keep the illusion of a real family alive.

Connor leads Kara to the middle of the dance floor, and holds one hand outstretched, and places the other on her side. They dance a simple box step, the music soft and yet intense all at once. Kara's hand rests on his shoulder, her other hand entwined with his. Connor's shaky at first, his steps uncertain. But eventually he learns how to dance, and soon he's spinning Kara around the dance floor. It feels more intimate, this dance.

"I like your suit," Kara whispers, and Connor smiles, his eyes on her. "And your hair. You look good, tonight." Connor can feel his cheeks turning blue, the android version of blushing.

"You look amazing," Connor replies, his voice soft and even. How is it possible that the whole world blurs as they dance? He can only see her.

"Why do you wear the brands?" Kara asks, and Connor would've touched his LED if his hands weren't busy. The conversation has dropped into serious territory, and a few days ago he would've changed the subject.

"I do not entirely feel alive," Connor says, and it's the truth, but not right now. Not with her. It's half the reason he came without his jacket, without the brands they carried. Because she makes him feel more alive, more part of a family. He had been a machine for so long, and now he wasn't.

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" The words spill out of his lips without his permission, without his consent. Connor inwardly chastises himself, but Kara's eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"I've never been in love before, but maybe. That would be nice, love at first sight," Kara says, and Connor's heart drops.

"You have never been in love?" he asks, and Kara glances up at him, emotions he recognises in his own eyes in hers. He's seen that expression, in the mirror, when he thinks of Kara. He's seen that expression in his reflection, small glances when he's with her. It's an expression he's familiar with. But does it mean the same for her as it does for him? Emotions are messy, Hank has said. And yet, dancing here, with Kara, he finds he does not regret emotions. In fact, he loves them.

"I think I have," Kara responds after a minute, and Connor doesn't pry. Kara's hand sheds its skin, and she connects with Connor, flooding him with memories. Of a dark-skinned android with large hands but a larger heart. How he was taken at the border, destroyed to help Kara and Alice escape to Canada. And yet, the emotion Connor is feeling is not the way he feels around Kara. It's the way he feels around Hank, around Alice.

"He was family. And I lost him," Kara explains, and Connor nods as they continue to dance. He can hear the song coming to a close, and suddenly Connor's desperate to continue to hold Kara in his arms. He wants to dance with her for all of eternity.

"I'm sorry," Connor says, and Kara disconnects with him, her hand reapplying her synthetic skin. Connor hears the music reach a crescendo and he picks up Kara and spins her in the air before landing her again. Her smile is wide when their eyes meet again.

"Kara," Connor whispers, and he starts to lean towards her when the music ends. Kara's eyes go wide, but Connor closes his as he bends down. There's no music to accompany them, but when Connor's lips brush against Kara's, he swears he hears angels singing.

Her lips are soft and he brings her closer as he kisses her. He feels fireworks in his system, an overwhelming feeling he embraces. He pulls away and opens his eyes to see Kara, looking into his eyes with love. And Connor feels right, he feels the truth, he feels love.

"I love you," Connor says.

"I love you," Kara says back.

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, my goodness. I've never posted any fanfiction before, so this is a bit nervewracking. I first found Detroit: Become Human after I was scrolling through YouTube and randomly found it. I watched the first five minutes of the first chapter and was immediately hooked. I bought the game a week later. I was captivated by Connor and Kara on the highway, how they stared into each other's eyes. Then, I went on Tumblr and found myself falling into the hole known as Connara. I seem to always fall for the rare pairing, so I'd thought I'd contribute for once. I'm really glad that you've read this far, and I hope you enjoyed. I'm sorry for killing off Luther off-screen. I really do like him, but he had to leave in order for Alice to bond with Connor. Also, as I was writing this, Jesse Williams posted a pic of him in a beard, and thus, bearded Markus was formed!
> 
> Thank you very much for reading this mess, and I hope you find happiness in the slice of life I've given.
> 
> -audbooh
> 
> P.S., I apologise for the weird mixture of American and British English. When I was younger, I had a phase in life where I loved all thing British, and I learned how to write British, for the most part. Ever since I've written in a mixture of both. Sorry if it's confusing.


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